It has been quite some time since I have blogged. A good long while. With that in mind, I decided to blog about...time.
Let me, first, take a small rabbit-trail. Last Sunday I woke up with unbearable pain in my stomach. I spent all day in bed keeled over in pain. That night I started feeling better and had high hopes of being able to go to school in the morning. 3am rolled around and I was jolted awake by the same pain consuming my tummy. I was so disappointed and immediately overcome by stress. Let me tell you why.
Pre-calculus is the devil. Now a close runner-up to this position is Chemistry. Both, are in my life this year and both are driving me to an early grave. I have final tests on both coming up. On top of the hours I spend trying to understand these evil subjects I also have another academic stress. At my school, the juniors and seniors choose controversial thesis statements at the end of the year and write and deliver 3000 word papers on them. My thesis was due today.
So as much as I would like to say that I didn't want to miss school because I love it so much...it was really because I had too much to do and couldn't aford to miss school.
I was panicing about missing one day and little did I know that my pain would not cease. After a doctor's appointment, getting my blood drawn, drinking a chalking watery substance that tasted like death 5 times, then a CT scan...we determined that I had to go into emergency surgery to have my appendix removed.
After surgery, I laid in the hospital bed in a drugged daze. The doctor came in to check on me and I asked him when I could return to school. He replied, "Do you have any big projects you need to get back to?" I quickly returned with a resounding, "YES!"
Nonetheless, I have been out of school all week.
The following were my thoughts as I laid in bed at home unable to accomplish any homework. "Great. This came at the worst time. I have Pre-calc homework, Chemistry homework, thesis work to do, and Kung Fu Panda 2 came out YESTERDAY and I still haven't seen it."
Lately I've noticed that sometimes things happen at what seems to be the wrong time. Nothing ever happens when I want it to and nothing ever goes exactly according to my plan.
I hate time.
I hate plans.
I hate it when time interferes with my plans.
The more I think about those statements, the more selfish I seem. Since when are my plans the most important thing? Why does everything have to revolve around my time? Who died and made me the center of everything?
Through these times when nothing seems to go my way, I have realized two things. First, God's timing is perfect. And second, my plan is not God's plan.
God knows what He is doing. He is the ultimate planner. He is the author and creator of all of creation. The entire plan of redemption is in His hands. Knowing that, why would I not trust in His timing? Why would I not trust in His perfect plan?
With God, all thngs will work out. He is in control and He holds everything together.
So even though I have to make up a little bit of homework and I didn't see the sequal to one of the best Pixar movies ever made exactly when I wanted to, I will still get it all done by the grace of God. I will get it done not in my timing, not in my plan, and not by my own power, but in His perfect timing, in His incredible plan, and by His never-ending power and grace in my life.
Thank you, Jesus, that it is not all left up to me. Thank you for planning my life before I was born and timing out every moment flawlessly before it happens.
Your timing is perfect.
My plan is not Your plan.
But they do not know
the thoughts of the LORD;
they do not understand his plan,
that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor.
-Micah 4:12
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