Practically perfect in every way. I used to want to be Mary Poppins. I mean c'mon, who doesn't want to fly through the sky, float on clouds, carry everything imaginable in a magic carpet bag, and be practically perfect in every way? Mary Poppins is one of the most brilliant characters Walt Disney ever created. But there's just one problem....
SHE IS NOT REAL.
Sometimes all I want to do is crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head, and shut out the world. Hide from my insecurities, imperfections, problems, worries, struggles, and everyone who may know about them. And then emerge again as a beautiful British woman who glides through the clouds, sings with birds, dances with penguins, and makes a bed with the snap of a finger.
Are you ever embarrassed because you aren't perfect? Do you ever think that you should be the perfect friend, girl/boyfriend, wife/husband, mother/father, sister/brother...but just can't seem to pull it off? I do. But today I realized something.
I am not perfect. I cannot please everyone and do everything right all the time. In fact I can't do either very often at all. Everyone has flaws. Everyone sins. And in the infamous words of Miley Cyrus, "Nobody's perfect".
Today I had to swallow the humble pill. Let me tell you, Mary Poppins was wrong because this is one medicine that does not go down with a spoon full of sugar. As I choked it down, I realized just how selfish and prideful I tend to be. How difficult it is for me to accept correction from my parents, employers, and even friends. I always knew that I was strong-willed (it's no secret), but I've never understood how much it effects my relationships.
In the midst of one of my proud moments today, a friend gently told me, "Kristin, I like to have my way too, but you can't go into a conversation expecting to get the answer you want. We all have to be willing to take, 'no' for an answer sometimes."
When I was immediately offended by this comment, I grew angry. Then 5 minutes later, I realized that I have a real problem. It's called sin. All my friend was trying to do was help me realize that I was being an arrogant jerk and I needed to swallow my pride and move on.
I went home, curled up in my covers, logged onto Pinterest, and came across this:
It's not often that you come across a non-cheesy Christian saying on Pinterest but, alas, this one did stand out. I am so consumed in ME. I am drowning in my own pride, selfishness, anger, frustration, problems, and imperfections. I want to be rid of them. I want to be filled with Jesus instead. I want to drown in His love. I want to drown in Him like I have already been drowning in His grace.
So my prayer today is not that I would become practically perfect in every way because right now on earth...that's not achievable.
Instead, I want to be filled with Jesus.
Lord, empty ME of ME so I can be filled with YOU.
Acts 13:52
"And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit."
