This Vast Ocean

I haven't written in a while. I don't just mean that I haven't blogged in awhile, though that's true too. But what I'm driving at is that I haven't sat myself down and let my jumbled thoughts and confused feelings flow through my pen onto paper, or rather, through my fingers onto the keyboard.

It's therapeutic really: the act of simply letting your mind fly and leaving your emotions behind. The punctuation, word choice, sentence structure, and all that your English teacher told you was important doesn't matter anymore.

It's freeing. There's nothing quite like it.

So with that, bear with me while I ditch my classically taught logical mindset for a moment, and simply let my thoughts soar.

Sometimes God's love seems incomprehensible. Who am I kidding? It always seems that way. I picture His love on a string, dangling in front of my face, almost hypnotizing me. I'm entranced by it. I'm dazed by it. I'm so fully overwhelmed in it's presence that I am dumbstruck. Immobile. Overcome. It is in this moment that all I want to do is stretch out my hand and grab it. I want to hold it in my hands, to feel it, to grasp it, to be immersed in it.

But this is where the immobile part comes in to play.

Why can't I seem to reach far enough? Wait, why can't I seem to reach at all? Why do I feel paralyzed? All I want is to understand, to hold on to that love, to never let it slip from my grip.

This past summer was an interesting one. I ran. I ran fast. I practically found myself fleeing. For those of you who just cringed when you pictured me physically sprinting, not to worry because, yes, I am speaking metaphorically. I ran from all that I knew. I ran from the truth that I had always been taught. I ran from the God that I had always served. I didn't just run, though. I hid and I lived behind a disguise. This isn't to say that God, himself, was fooled. I may be able to convince myself that everything is normal, but the same cannot be said for the God of the universe.

Allow me to rewind.

The day was 16 April, 2013. The setting was Wenatchee, WA. I arrived back in the small town that held my childhood and all that I found my identity in six months prior. I loved that evening. I saw my family. I saw my friends. I went to bed that night with one feeling: contentment. The following morning, however, was a different story. I felt an obvious void in my heart. I had left behind the beautiful Austrian Alps which had been my home for the past six and a half months. I had left behind the children I had loved and cherished. I had left behind some of the people who have had the biggest impact in my life thus far. And there I was, back in the place that started it all. Back where nothing was new and everything was comfortable.

This led to my summer: Four months that starkly contrasted and contradicted everything that I had learned on my Austrian adventure. I was lost and I sought to find something to fill that hole hidden somewhere within me. I searched and convinced myself that I found my refuge in the world.

My real refuge did not manifest itself until about two months ago, however.

I embarked on the next adventure. Portland called my name and as I embraced my inner hipster, I also embraced the source of my wanderings. It was so simple. How could I have missed it?

Fear of man.

I found that I was so entranced in what others thought about me. "Will my Christian friends think I'm not Christian enough? Will my non-Christian friends think I'm too Christian? How does my hair look? Are these shoes okay?"

My dad has a lot of sayings. Things he has repeated to me my entire life. One of the most valuable is this: "Your identity is in Jesus".

My identity is not in what I wear. It is not in who I hang out with. It is not in what others think of me. It is not even in how worthy I am of God's love. God brought me back to Himself and as I told a friend today, He simply said, "Okay, well that was a fun few months. Are you ready to get back on track now?" By His grace, I agreed. He placed me back in the passenger seat and gently took the wheel.

 The truth is this: God's love is vast enough for us all and I am no exception. God's love is immeasurable and incomprehensible.

And so we have reached the connecting point of the circle. If I have seen so clearly that He loves me, then why can't I simply grab that love that is hanging right in front of my face?

I want to feel His love, but I can't understand it.

But maybe, my friends, THAT is exactly the point. Maybe that is what I have searched for all along. Maybe while I struggled to understand His love, I had found my answer. All I had to do was simply accept that I won't be able to comprehend it.

Maybe we are supposed to drown in it. Maybe we are supposed to be overwhelmed by it. Maybe it is so powerful, so deep, so strong that we are merely supposed to feel it and bask in the comfort that we are in over our heads and while we don't have a plan, He does.

Maybe our job is not to understand the love, but to accept it and pass it on.



"This vast ocean of love cannot be measured or explained, but it can be experienced." -Sarah Young

Bittersweet

This morning, I ate toast for breakfast.

Not just any toast. Bread that was delicately placed in the big black toaster and carefully carried to the table in a plastic lunch box and served to me...by my favorite 4-year-old boy.

This morning I woke up to snow. Again. After 2 weeks of sunshine.

Mother nature lied to me.

But instead of sitting in my room and Gabi in her office, we decided to take advantage of the fresh powder and take a few runs together while the girls had their ski lesson. After an hour of skiing, we sat in the lodge on top of the hill and had hot chocolate and wonderful conversation.

As we stood on the bunny hill awaiting the girls' arrival, we talked of what a whirlwind the past 5 and a half months have been. And how much we have grown to understand and accept each other through it all.

We drove the girls home and sat down to a meal comprised of left over soup, meat, and salad.

After french braiding Valentina's hair and fluffing Johanna's curls, we played for an hour and then Gabi took them to buy new shoes as an Easter present from Oma.

My "work" was finished for the day.

Do I really only have three more weeks of this?

Am I honestly only 21 days away from home?

6 months ago, I thought that I would be more than ready to leave this place by now. But now that the time to go draws uncomfortably near, I can't say that I am quite ready.

I have grown accustomed to this European way of life.

I have fallen in love with these kids.

I have made relationships that I'm not ready to leave.

And I feel that have a second family here.

Sure, we have had our ups and downs.

Yes, there were times that I wanted to throw in the towel.

There were days that I was fed up with these crazy Austrians and their lifestyle.

But today is not one of those days.

I don't think I'll have too many more of those days.

I went to Budapest, Hungary last weekend. I had an incredible time exploring a foreign country, but by the time I left, I was glad to be leaving. I was glad to not hear the jumbled Hungarian conversations around me. And the second that I crossed the border on to Austrian soil, I felt relief. I heard German. Sure, I still didn't understand it, but it was familiar. It was what I knew. When I arrived in Ramsau that night and collapsed on my bed, I was home.

Today I feel blessed. I feel so close to this family. I feel so loved by this community. I feel at home.

The fact that I am leaving this culture in just three short weeks scares me. It has gone too fast. I spent too long talking about this adventure and anticipating it for it to have flown by at such rapid speed.

While I am scared to go, I am excited. I know that God has plans for me in America and I know that my Austrian adventure has shaped how I will face the next opportunities He throws my way.

So with that said, I have two favorite places on earth: Wenatchee, Washington in the good ole UsofA and Ramsau am Dachstein, Steiermark, Austria. Both are home and both are favorite. It's like having two favorites: grape and cherry. They're both good. If that made no sense to you, please view the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prLLabn1vPA

So anyway,

I am so excited to go home in three weeks and, yet so sad to leave home in three weeks.

So today, I am encouraged. I am scared. I am thankful. I am happy.

La La

6:30 am rolls around entirely too quickly every morning here in Ramsau, Austria. The irritating, "beep, beep, beep" jolts me awake and I roll out of bed. "Really? Time to wake up already? Do I really have to go deal with two-year-olds all day long?" All I can think is one thing: Today, I'd rather not. Nevertheless, I venture downstairs from my top floor bedroom. "Teen! Teen! Teen! Teen!" The chorus begins as I walk down the last flight of stairs and emerge looking sleepy. "Teen!" Valentina shouts. "Teen!" Johanna joins in. "Guten Morgen, Christine" Gabi says cheerfully. Gut Moning, Tristine." Jakob, practices his English. "Good Morning." I answer back.

The morning has begun and after I have fixed Valentina her plate of bread with butter and apples and Johanna and Jakob their bowls of musli, Gabi rushes out the door for work and Jakob and Karl soon follow.

It's just the girls and me.

Eventually, Valentina finishes and shouts, "Fertig!" I understand that she is finished and help her out of her high chair. Soon after, Johanna's squeaky, little voice sounds as she points to her bowl, "La la! La la!" This is a dialect word that I didn't understand until about a week ago when I was informed that it means "empty". I wipe off her hands and face and help her down.

Every morning, this is a our breakfast routine.

I arrived back on Austrian soil just over a week ago now. I spent two wonderful weeks home in my very own house, sleeping in my very own bed, and eating darn good all-American food.

It was heavenly.

The two weeks rushed by and soon it was time to board that ten hour flight for the third time in three months.

As I stepped off the plane in Salzburg, jet lagged, queezy, and light headed, I didn't want to be there.

It didn't take long, however, for me to remember why I love this place.

As I sat in the front seat of a large van next to a 60some-year-old Austrian man who didn't speak English but was as friendly as can be and stared out the window at the glorious Alps, my memory was jogged.

I was back.

It seemed like it had been a long time since I had seen those mountains but at the same time it felt like I never left. As I finally arrived to my Ramsau home, I plopped on my bed and thought through what the next 3  months would look like.

A thought crossed my mind: Part of me couldn't believe it was already half over and the other part of me couldn't believe it was only half over.

As I said before, some days I wake up and just really don't want to work.

The second half of this Austrian Adventure has just barely started and already I am learning.

It started out a little rough.

I felt spiritually dry.

I felt overwhelmed by life.

I felt like there was a void somewhere inside me.

I felt like Johanna's musli bowl every morning after its contents have been devoured: La la.

I had spent the first three months immersed in God's Word. But the moment I stepped foot in the comfort of my own home, reality hit, busyness began, and I no longer had nor made the time for Jesus.

Consequently, I arrived back in Ramsau discouraged. How could I fall so deeply in love with Jesus and His Word over three months and then be so easily distracted as soon as life became "normal" and "easy" again? Where did I go wrong?

As I talked to arguably the wisest woman on this planet...my mom...she told me that I had merely entered a valley in my spiritual life and I just needed to seek God's grace and strength to climb back up the mountain.

It seemed easy enough.

A few days passed and instead of feeling filled up, I felt even more bogged down in other issues and "problems" in my life.

Today I woke up and went through the motions. I made breakfast, played with the girls, put them down for their nap, etc, etc. I remember telling a friend, "I'm just tired and done. I'm ready to come home." But as my work day came to a close, I decided to go for a short hike in the snow just before dark. As I reached the top, I sat on a bench and my eyes followed the fresh ski tracks in the fluffy, white powder down the hill and up to the snow covered mountains. I took in the beauty.

If there is one thing that always brings me back to God in this place, it's His glory shown through the marvelous view that I can see basically from my back yard.

I am so blessed.

I have nothing to complain about. I am in Austria for goodness sake.

In that moment, I felt full again. I felt overcome by God's presence. I felt ready to take on the next three months.

I have had, am having, and will have struggles through this experience. But God is sufficient for all my needs. He is the author of my life. He sits in the driver seat. He has a plan. He rules over me. He is King.

I may wake up tired and I may roll out of bed groggy tomorrow, but I can't wait to hear the jumbled greetings of, "Teen! Guten Morgen! Teen! Tristine! Teen!" When Johanna shows me her empty bowl, looks up at me with those big eyes, and says, "La la!" I think I will look back at her and smile.

The only way to get to the next mountain is through a valley. The only way to be filled up is to first be empty.

"Let me bless you with My grace and peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My peace." -Sarah Young; Jesus Calling

Lesson 287: LOVE

“God is love.”

I tell you what, if I had a dime for every time I have heard a Christian say that…

Growing up and all throughout high school, that phrase always bothered me.

To me, it implied that God was just a fluffy little angel, floating around somewhere up there with nothing but warm, fuzzy feelings for everyone he created down here.

While He does love us, he is also a God of wrath, He is sovereign, omnipresent, all-powerful, etc. He has so many attributes and to just focus on one of them and say that God IS love just seemed so narrow-minded to me. It shrunk God into less of what He is.

Now I still encounter people who take His love too far, write off all things theological, and somehow teleport back to the 60s singing, “All you need is love”.

HOWEVER comma, since coming to Austria, I have learned that God’s love is a weighty issue and it is a HUGE part of God’s character.  

I was thrown into an unknown world. I don’t think there is anything on this earth that could have prepared me for how many things I just didn’t know before coming here.

I didn’t know that I would miss my parents so much.

I didn’t know that I would be an au pair for children who run wild and crazy.

I didn’t know that I would have so much time to myself.

I didn’t know that I would live up in the boondocks with a very unreliable bus system to get be around.

I also didn’t know that I would live in arguably the most beautiful place in all of Austria.

I didn’t know that I would grow closer to Jesus than ever before.

I didn’t know that I would gain an incredible thankfulness and appreciation for home that I could not have gained any other way.

I didn’t know that I would learn to love time on my own.

I didn’t know that I would love the Bible more every single day, that I would have an abundance of prayer time on a daily basis, and that I would find a true and personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Who would have thought that all that would happen in the middle of nowhere in the Austrian Alps?

Who would have thought…

As I sit here reflecting on this first half of my adventure, I can’t help but think one thing: I am so loved.

I am so overwhelmed and overtaken by God’s love for me.

I once heard one off my pastors give an analogy about God’s grace. He said to imagine yourself standing in an open field with nothing but hills and luscious green grass surrounding you. Suddenly, a bucket of water appears above you and soaks you to the bone. The water doesn’t stop. It never runs out. You just stand there, taking it in, all the while getting wetter and wetter.

Now picture God’s grace as the water.

That’s how I feel.

Who am I to deserve such love? Who am I to deserve such grace? Who am I to deserve such an experience? Who am I to deserve six months, rent free, in the Austrian Alps, with a monthly income, and opportunities to share the name of Jesus every single day?

The answer is that I, in no way, shape, or form, deserve any of it.

The answer is that I serve a God who loves me more than I can fathom.

It all hit me last night while I Skyped my dad.

He knows how much I love Christmas and am sad to be missing the traditions. So as we were talking, he said, “Hold on, I’ll be right back!” When he returned, he had taken pictures of every Christmas decoration in our house and a video of our new fire place and proceeded to hold his phone up to the camera and scroll through the Christmas cheer.

I love that man. Let me just ask one more time…who am I to deserve the parents that I have? Who am I to deserve the family I was placed in? For the record, my family is better than your family. I mean who else has a brother who will play and sing you Johnny Cash songs over Skype, or a sister who will Skype you during Thanksgiving dinner, or parents who will send you candy, movies, and warm coats to brave the cold Austrian winter?

So this morning, as I am sitting on the couch in my friends’ house, with candles lit, Christmas music playing, and snow falling softly outside the window, I am snuggled up in blankets, a big sweatshirt, and fuzzy socks, drinking hot chocolate, and I feel loved.

So God is a lot of things. He is wrathful, He is sovereign, He is faithful, He is all-powerful. But maybe, just maybe, it’s true what they say.

Maybe God IS love.

The most quoted verse in the Bible seems to take on a whole new meaning.

“For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”  

Who am I to deserve to be saved from myself? Who am I to deserve eternal life with Jesus?

^“4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:4-9

Austrian Update: Contentment

I grew up in the church.

I went to Sunday school.

I went to youth group.

My dad is a pastor and I have always been and will always be the classic P.K.

I went to a Christian school from 1st grade until I graduated.

My parents are wonderful God-fearing people.

So naturally, I heard the message of God's grace preached over and over again growing up. I heard about how God loves us and how Jesus' sacrifice saved me from my sin. I knew it was true and I believed it.

There was just one problem.

Sometimes when you hear a message like that over and over and over again, you can become desensitized to its weight.

It becomes mundane. It goes in one ear and out the other.

Throughout high school, I always loved Jesus and tried my best to serve Him fully. But I always felt like I had a little dry patch in my life. I always envied new believers and their zeal and passion for the Gospel. That spark in their eye and the way you can see the love of Jesus radiate through them. That enthusiasm that doesn't seem to run out.

I "accepted Jesus into my heart" when I was 3-years-old. I made my faith my own when I was a freshman in high school. But other than that, I can not recall a real revival, if you will, in my life.

There were times when I would wish that I had a more dramatic testimony. One where I was so lost but God stepped in, picked me up out of the ashes, and saved me from myself.

There was always something missing. Or so I thought.

When I came to Austria, I knew I would grow in my walk with God. But nothing could have prepared for the growth I have experienced. God has revealed Himself to me and I have matured in Him more in the past two months of living in Austria than I have in the past three years.

I feel like I have experienced that new believer's passion for the Gospel. I feel His presence everywhere I go.

So what has God taught me, you ask?

Let me tell you.

I have always heard that Jesus is enough. That He is all we need. No matter what.

I have never pondered that concept more than I have in the past two months. It may be cliche, but you never realize how much you need God until He is all that you have.

So I asked myself: "What would happen if all my worldly possessions, everything I hold dear, everyone I love was suddenly ripped out of my life? What if everything was stripped away and all I was left with was Jesus? Would I be okay? Is Jesus really my all and all? Would He really be enough to fulfill my needs?"

When I was really honest with myself and dug down deep, the answer was a resounding, "No".

I don't know if I would be okay.

My dad always told me that my self-image is in Jesus and He is the only place I can find true identity.

Since being separated from people at home, I have realized how much I find my identity in people and in the acceptance of man. I base too much of who I am on other people and what they think.

That's a great conviction, but really if I sit and think about it, I don't know if I will ever be able to say that I would be okay without my mom, my dad, brother, sister, friends, and mentors.

So if that's the case then where do I go from here?

I like routine but I also like adventures. I like adventures but I also like things to go the way I plan.

That being said, I am not the most content person. I am always wanting something different, more of this, or less of that.

If there is one thing that I have learned in my time here, it is this: be content. Strive for adventure, but live in the present. Don't wish you are somewhere you aren't.

God has me in Austria. Right now. Yes, I have a life back home and yes, I miss it. But I am only 18. This is only 6 months. And I have the rest of my life ahead of me.

I have never been so thankful for the gifts that God has given me. I am so blessed by my family and friends.

So, after that confusing, jumbled mess of a blog post, let me just wrap it up by saying this: I have always wanted that long testimony. That spark in a new believer's heart. But I'm learning that God saves pastor's kids in the same way that He saves drug dealers. We all need Jesus and we are all His image bearers. We all need to be saved from ourselves. And the truth of the matter is, I was not missing something in my life before Austria...

I just didn't realize that the only thing I needed was right there the whole time.

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.

Happy Thanksgiving from Ramsau, Austria!

Lesson Three: The Two Week Rule

This summer I was blessed with an absolutely incredible job with even more incredible people. I loved the environment and it was such an amazing experience. One of the best perks to the job was my boss. He goes to my church back at home and he is a God-fearing man. I remember one day at work we were talking about Austria and adjustments that I was having to make in my life and he said this to me, “You know I’m a firm believer that in every situation you have to give it two weeks. It doesn't matter what the situation is; just give it two weeks and you’ll know if it’s working out or not.

At first I didn't know what to think. It didn't make much sense to me and I couldn't figure out why two weeks was the magic number. I now realize that I didn't get it then because until now, I had never been in a situation that really forced me to rely solely on Jesus. I had never really needed to give anything time. I had never used the Two Week Rule.

In Austria I have been lonely and homesick. I have felt like there was nowhere to turn. At home if I had a bad day, it was easy. All I had to do was go curl up in bed, maybe say a prayer or two, and then vent to my mom. But here there is no mom. No dad. No friends. Not even the comfort of my own home or bed. Nowhere to turn. Except wait. There is that one guy who suffered through a lot worse than missing home. That one guy who gave His life by the will of His own Father so that I could be set free. Oh yeah, that guy could probably help me.

So sure enough, about two weeks into my little adventure here, I hit a wall.

I feel like a running theme in my life has been the issue of trusting God. I have always known it was an issue and I think it has something to do with the control freak in me. I want to handle it all myself and in my mind, I can.

So as soon as I feel comfortable with a situation I say, “You know what, God, why don’t you just scoot on over and let me sit in the driver’s seat. I think I can handle this one.”

Sometimes God lets me drive.

I can tell you, however, that ten time out of ten, I crash the car and total it.

So that’s what I did this week. I finally thought that I had gotten the hang of this whole Austria thing when I got myself into a little fender bender.

I was selfish. I was so caught up in my own world. I missed home. I wanted my internet to work in my room. I wanted to see this. I wanted to do that. I wanted this time to take that hike. I, I, I, me, me, me, myself, myself, myself. I didn't care what worked for the family and what their schedule was like and I failed to remember why I am here: to help them. After all, they are the ones paying me and giving me free room and board.

I began to butt heads with the family and then right on cue, there was a relationship at home that needed mending, and soon enough, my fender bender was a full head on collision.

Thankfully though, before my accident became fatal, God stepped in.

He picked me up out of the driver’s seat, set me in the back, middle seat with my feet on the hump, and buckled me in.

“Hold on kid,” He said, “it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but don’t worry, I got this.”

“I got this.” You know why God’s got this?

Oh I know. Because He’s God.

Because He’s the one who ordained everything that has ever and will ever happen.

Because He has a perfect plan for you and for me.

Friends, there is serous comfort in that truth.

Throughout these past few days, I have learned a lot. I have learned to go with the flow. I have learned that God will work it out. I have learned that all things happen for a reason and for good as long as I serve Him.

And I have learned that I am one blessed girl.

Just two weeks in, and I know that this is going to be a good experience. I have made friends (some my age and one incredible sixty-year-old woman if you were curious) and I have grown in more ways than can fit in this post.

It’s only been two weeks. It feels like two years.

And so it’s true. The Two Week Rule really does exist.

I’m not saying that I am totally settled. That two weeks is all it took and now I don’t miss home at all and everything is rainbows and butterflies.

But two weeks is all it took to open my eyes.

Two weeks is all it took to broaden my horizons.

Two weeks of ups and downs.

There will still be ups and downs. But after going down, there is nowhere else to go...but up.

Onward and upward.

2 Peter 5:10, 11

Lesson Two: The Comfort Zone

I have a very specific comfort zone.

If you've only met me once or even if we're acquaintances or better yet half-way-friends, you might think that I would do just about anything. I mean...I'm about as outgoing as it gets. I'm always down for an adventure. I'm even kinda-sorta-maybe easy going when it comes to deciding what to do on a Friday night. There's not much I won't say. Confrontation does not bother me in the least...in fact I actually quite enjoy reasoning with people and solving problems. I'm an extrovert to the core. I'm loud. I'm crazy. And sometimes I'm a little obnoxious.

HOWEVER comma, if you really know me well, and I mean really know me like how my family or my best friends know me, than you know that there is more to me than that.

Beneath that outgoing, outspoken, and, "I'm going to go sky-diving someday" exterior, even I have a comfort zone. Shocking, I know.

I always knew that I had a comfort zone and I even knew certain things that were definitely not inside it. But until this past week, I was not aware of how small my little bubble in life really was.

I thought I had accomplished a lot in my life. I mean I've been to Scotland, I've been to Italy, I've traveled around the United States, I've finished high school, I've always had a number of good friends, I've maintained a full-time job, I've jumped off of 45 ft cliffs, I've done a good amount of public speaking, and I've had a heck of a lot of fun doing it all!

That's nothing to be ashamed of, but when I really step back and look at it from my point of view in my little room in this huge house at the top of this tiny town way up in the mountains in Austria, 5539 miles from home and 9 hours ahead of most of you reading this, the list looks a little smaller than I originally thought.

So you're probably thinking, "Okay we get it, you have a comfort zone just like every other person in this world."

Okay so in my week in Austria, I have learned two main things that do not fit in my comfort zone.

First, flexibility. When I said I was sort of easy going earlier...I was kidding myself. I'm not easy going. I like routine and I freak out when things don't go according to plan. I don't roll with the punches very well.

So naturally I panicked after meeting the family that I live with and I realized that their English is much more broken than I thought, my work hours are not what I expected, and the kids are not as easy to handle as I hoped.

But I can already feel the Lord making me more flexible.

Second, one downside of being a complete extrovert is that I can't handle being alone for more than an hour at a time. I love people and my energy comes from being with them.

Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of solitude time I have here. It scared me to death.

But I am learning to redeem that time. To not sit in my room and dwell on how much I miss home, but rather, to read the Word, listen to sermons, and talk to Jesus. I am so excited because I have already grown so much spiritually and it's only been 6 days.

So I am finding that the first goal that God has for me here, is to shatter my comfort zone. To stretch me beyond what I can handle in my own strength. To teach me to truly rely on Him and to do everything by His strength.

I am so excited to see what the Lord does in my life.

In the meantime, a friend or two would be nice.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12