La La

6:30 am rolls around entirely too quickly every morning here in Ramsau, Austria. The irritating, "beep, beep, beep" jolts me awake and I roll out of bed. "Really? Time to wake up already? Do I really have to go deal with two-year-olds all day long?" All I can think is one thing: Today, I'd rather not. Nevertheless, I venture downstairs from my top floor bedroom. "Teen! Teen! Teen! Teen!" The chorus begins as I walk down the last flight of stairs and emerge looking sleepy. "Teen!" Valentina shouts. "Teen!" Johanna joins in. "Guten Morgen, Christine" Gabi says cheerfully. Gut Moning, Tristine." Jakob, practices his English. "Good Morning." I answer back.

The morning has begun and after I have fixed Valentina her plate of bread with butter and apples and Johanna and Jakob their bowls of musli, Gabi rushes out the door for work and Jakob and Karl soon follow.

It's just the girls and me.

Eventually, Valentina finishes and shouts, "Fertig!" I understand that she is finished and help her out of her high chair. Soon after, Johanna's squeaky, little voice sounds as she points to her bowl, "La la! La la!" This is a dialect word that I didn't understand until about a week ago when I was informed that it means "empty". I wipe off her hands and face and help her down.

Every morning, this is a our breakfast routine.

I arrived back on Austrian soil just over a week ago now. I spent two wonderful weeks home in my very own house, sleeping in my very own bed, and eating darn good all-American food.

It was heavenly.

The two weeks rushed by and soon it was time to board that ten hour flight for the third time in three months.

As I stepped off the plane in Salzburg, jet lagged, queezy, and light headed, I didn't want to be there.

It didn't take long, however, for me to remember why I love this place.

As I sat in the front seat of a large van next to a 60some-year-old Austrian man who didn't speak English but was as friendly as can be and stared out the window at the glorious Alps, my memory was jogged.

I was back.

It seemed like it had been a long time since I had seen those mountains but at the same time it felt like I never left. As I finally arrived to my Ramsau home, I plopped on my bed and thought through what the next 3  months would look like.

A thought crossed my mind: Part of me couldn't believe it was already half over and the other part of me couldn't believe it was only half over.

As I said before, some days I wake up and just really don't want to work.

The second half of this Austrian Adventure has just barely started and already I am learning.

It started out a little rough.

I felt spiritually dry.

I felt overwhelmed by life.

I felt like there was a void somewhere inside me.

I felt like Johanna's musli bowl every morning after its contents have been devoured: La la.

I had spent the first three months immersed in God's Word. But the moment I stepped foot in the comfort of my own home, reality hit, busyness began, and I no longer had nor made the time for Jesus.

Consequently, I arrived back in Ramsau discouraged. How could I fall so deeply in love with Jesus and His Word over three months and then be so easily distracted as soon as life became "normal" and "easy" again? Where did I go wrong?

As I talked to arguably the wisest woman on this planet...my mom...she told me that I had merely entered a valley in my spiritual life and I just needed to seek God's grace and strength to climb back up the mountain.

It seemed easy enough.

A few days passed and instead of feeling filled up, I felt even more bogged down in other issues and "problems" in my life.

Today I woke up and went through the motions. I made breakfast, played with the girls, put them down for their nap, etc, etc. I remember telling a friend, "I'm just tired and done. I'm ready to come home." But as my work day came to a close, I decided to go for a short hike in the snow just before dark. As I reached the top, I sat on a bench and my eyes followed the fresh ski tracks in the fluffy, white powder down the hill and up to the snow covered mountains. I took in the beauty.

If there is one thing that always brings me back to God in this place, it's His glory shown through the marvelous view that I can see basically from my back yard.

I am so blessed.

I have nothing to complain about. I am in Austria for goodness sake.

In that moment, I felt full again. I felt overcome by God's presence. I felt ready to take on the next three months.

I have had, am having, and will have struggles through this experience. But God is sufficient for all my needs. He is the author of my life. He sits in the driver seat. He has a plan. He rules over me. He is King.

I may wake up tired and I may roll out of bed groggy tomorrow, but I can't wait to hear the jumbled greetings of, "Teen! Guten Morgen! Teen! Tristine! Teen!" When Johanna shows me her empty bowl, looks up at me with those big eyes, and says, "La la!" I think I will look back at her and smile.

The only way to get to the next mountain is through a valley. The only way to be filled up is to first be empty.

"Let me bless you with My grace and peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My peace." -Sarah Young; Jesus Calling